Even the rich and famous aren’t immune to the craziness of motherhood.
Celebrity moms—they’re just like us! At least when it comes to commiserating about the quirks of parenthood, that is. From Emily Blunt’s “exploding” breasts to Reese Witherspoon’s maternal “ticker tape,” here are some of the most amusing insights from famous mamas.
“I despise mommy shamers. I am a proud shamer of mommy shamers.” —Chrissy Teigen, continuing her reign as the Queen of Clapbacks
“When can I expect to stop having avocado under my fingernails at all times? When they go to college?” —Kristen Bell, lamenting her new “manicure”
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath and hope we’ve set aside enough money for our kids’ therapy.” —Michelle Pfeiffer, keeping her expectations realistic
“Kids humble us. The other day on a flight home Olympia insisted on running up and down the aisle and when I finally got her to sit still, she threw up all over me.”—Serena Williams, learning there is never a dull moment as a mom
“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.” — Olivia Wilde, imparting her maternal wisdom
“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” —Tina Fey, aptly summing up parenting in 11 words
“After we got home from the hospital, I didn’t shower for a week, and then John [Krasinski] and I were like, ‘Let’s go out for dinner.’ I could last only about an hour because my boobs were exploding. When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami. But we went, just to prove to ourselves that we could feel normal for a second.” —Emily Blunt, being, well, blunt about the “joys” of new motherhood
“Children are [crazy]… Like, at the park, certain jungle gyms have an opening for older kids to jump out of. [Daughter Wyatt’s] 19 months; she can’t jump. She just walks off it as if she’s on a pirate ship.” —Mila Kunis, discovering the questionable judgment of little ones
“Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected. You never know when you’re gonna get [pooed] on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict.” —Blake Lively, waxing poetic about life with an infant
“I don’t think there’s been an hour of my life since Ava was born that I don’t think of my kids. I call it my CNN ticker tape: Is Ava OK? Yes. Is Deacon OK? Yes. Is Tennessee OK? Yes. Back to Ava.” —Reese Witherspoon, keeping it real about the all-consuming nature of parenting